


Send to the angels

by JAKishu



Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Cult, Flashback, Gen, Hospital, Hurt Neal Caffrey, Kid Neal, Mental Breakdown, Minor Injuries, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Peter Burke, Self-Defense, Trauma, alternative universe, angel - Freeform, neal kills someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29715489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAKishu/pseuds/JAKishu
Summary: Neal shoots someone in self-defence. Something of his past is revealed.
Relationships: Elizabeth Burke/Peter Burke, Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Send to the angels

Being cuffed with his own hand cuffs is no experience Agent Peter Burke wants to repeat. But in the end that is the least of his worries. His CI is kneeing on the ground holding his side from the kicks he had taken in. Most likely a bruised or broken rip, if not more. Their suspect, Eddy Whistler, a seemingly harmless smuggler of art and other more questionable things had turned out to be a bit more dangerous. He is very unpredicting especially since he took one of the pills that Neal had found earlier in his pockets. A smuggler with a drug addiction, great. Diana and Jones are still at least 10 minutes out and Peter knows they have run out of time around two minutes ago.

Neal is breathing heavily and trying to get his footing back, the smuggler doesn’t seem to mind. He is even smiling as he sees Neal trying to back out of the situation all of the CI´s talking hadn’t helped. Neal isn’t the one for running- poor choice of words- but he prefers to keep his distance from any form of violence against him or others. That never changed.

What changed is that they got an rise in their chance of survival because Neal is directing his movements back to the place the guy had thrown his gun. Peter isn’t sure Neal is aiming for it but either way he is getting closer.

Eddy is playing with a knife in his hand telling Neal and him all about the pretty things he will make them say after he sliced off a few layers of their skin. Peter wished he could move but the cuffs hold him on that pipe. He knows the smuggler will go for Neal first. Neal the one that betrayed his trust, Neal the rat who works for the FBI, Neal the one that didn’t get training in self-defence and other kinds of fighting sports. Neal who just hit the gun with his hand and makes a surprised noise that gets notice in the worst possible moment.

“You little rat I will slice you open and sell your organs to the highest bitter.” Eddy shouts and rans toward Neal. Peter sees no way out of this that doesn’t end in violence and death.

“Neal shoot.” He screams and Peter thanks whatever god is listening on them that Neal does what he is told to do. Neal shoots and the echo of the gun shoot fills the empty room. Peter can´t clearly see where Neal hit Eddy but it has to be the centre of the body. The smuggler breaks down and doesn’t move. Blood spills on the floor in thick waves and slowly makes his way over to Neal.

“Neal, can you get my cuffs off.” There is no answer and Peter looks at Neal for the first time since the shot was taken. His CI is still on the ground his arms holding the gun but not aimed at anything anymore. Their goal is on the ground and shock widened eyes look at the spot he hit with a bullet. “Neal?”

The blood takes over the distance between the body and Neals knee´s and starts to get suck in by the fabric. “Neal! Are you alright?” Maybe he is more hurt than Peter thought. “Neal! Answer me.” Neal let his arms sink down, the gun touches the puddle of blood but he didn’t seem to care or even notice it.

“Neal?” Softer this time as if he would call out to a frighten child. Neal turns his head and looks right through him.

“I send him to the angels, like Dad did with Mom.” Tear fell and empty eyes look at the blood in front of him.

Suddenly a door burst open and their back up finally arrived. “Diana open my cuffs. No one gets closer to Caffrey. Stay away from him.” Peter calls out, surprised but following his orders Diana takes her own key and open his cuffs. They all look at the picture in front of them. Neal hurt and unmoving sitting in a red sea of blood while saying something about angels.

“Call an ambulance. I don’t think Neal is in his right mind.” Jones has his phone already in his hand getting it done.

“Neal?” Peter walks toward his friend but he doesn’t get far. Faster than he had thought possible is his own gun pointed at him, Neal´s empty eyes look though him, still not seeing him. The tension in the room rises but Peter signals them to stay put. He lifts his arms to show his hands.

“I won´t hurt you Neal but you need to give me the gun.” Neals eyes fix on the gun, a drop of blood fells down in the still growing puddle beneath his body. His eyes follow the movement of the drop and the waves it makes in the blood on the floor.

“I send him to the angles. Like Dad did with Mom.” It is the same as he said before, the same words over and over again, mumbles into his confused state.

“Yes, Neal you did send him to the angels but it´s not your fault, you protected us.” Confusion appears on his face.

“The angels are to good ones, Dad told me Mom is with the angels because they told him to send her.” The gun seem forgotten as it fell to the ground, blood splashing around him.

“Ok Neal. Can you get up for me?” Peter offers his hand pushing the gun away with his foot. Making more bloody marks on the grey concrete floor.

“Is Mom really with the angels? Why wasn’t I allowed to go too. I miss her. Dad didn’t let me go with her. He told me to send him.” Neal´s empty eyes clearly caught somewhere in the past look at his own hands. “Don’t want to be here. I want to go to the angels. They are warm and soft and Mom is with them.”

Peter wants to stop Neal as he starts to touch the blood with his fingers getting blood all over himself but the agent doesn’t know what to do. The sound of steps running towards their location was a relieve. He could feel the eyes on him as one of the paramedics came over.

“What happened.” He asks and gets down on his knees. Neal doesn’t seem to mind him. He continues his monologue.

“I send him to the angels. Like Dad did with Mom.”

“Sir can you tell me your name?” Neal doesn’t answer. “I´m going to touch your arm.” The paramedic warns and measures the pulse. “Sir.” This time is was directed at Peter. “We should get him to the hospital. It looks to me like a mental breakdown. If he snaps out of it, it could become very ugly.” Peter nods but as the paramedic starts pulling Neal up the fight returns to the CI. He pushes the man away and does the same to Peter, who is too surprised to react.

The FBI agent expected Neal to run but he returns to the puddle of blood and starts touching it again. It looks like he is paining with his fingers in the blood and Peter doesn’t want to know what he is drawing there. In the end they decided to sedate him and take him out of the situation. Peter is allowed to follow in the ambulance with an unconscious Neal. Jones took over the crime scene. They would get his statement later.

* * *

Hours later, with his wrist in white wrappings, Peter sits in an uncomfortable chair in a bed next to Neal, who is still unconscious. His doctor took care of the bruised rips, plural. For everything else they need Neal to wake up.

A knock on the door pulled Peter out of his own dark thoughts as Diana come in. She looks at the sleeping man before giving him a case file. Confused Peter opens it. “I found Neal.” She said.

“What do you-.“ But he doesn’t finish the sentence as he reads the headline of a newspaper article. “SEND TO THE ANGELS”

“I thought about what Neal had said and I knew those words. This case, I studied it at the academy. A cult leader kills his wife and gets shot by his own son. The boy was Neal. Look at the picture.” And Peter looked. There he was. Five-year-old Neal, covered in blood. The police had come to the house after neighbours heard the shot. The cult leader hat told his followers (male) to kill their wifes and let their children send them off. Some ritual that only the innocent soul of a child could send people to Heaven. With the words ´send to the angels´ some of the follower even did it but preferred suicide or killed the children too. Those doomsday cults had their high at the time. Peter looks back at the picture and finds a not in the file.

“There is a video?” The room where he witnessed the murder of his mother was under surveillance.

“They made a digital copy of it.” Diana offers her phone. “It´s not pretty.” I watched it with Hughes.” Peter looked at her, but he knows why their boss is involved. First of all Neal killed someone, then his current condition and the things he said lead to the reveal of his real identity.

Peter takes the phone and presses PLAY.” A small, dark-haired boy stood in the middle of the room, a man is on his side. There is no sound but he doesn’t need to hear the words to know that the man tells the boy to stay there. The boy stays, the man goes over to the bed where a beautiful young woman sits on a bed she turns her back towards him and let her top fall. The man cut´s his own hand and draws with the blood angel wings on her naked back before he shoots her in the head with a smile on his face. The boy doesn’t move.

The man gets up and walking over to the boy, cutting his hand and turning his back to the boy who draws with shaking hands wings on his fathers back. As he is finished, he gives the boy the gun he uses to shoot his wife. The boy doesn’t shoot. The man gets angry and grab the boy at his arm shaking him, shouting. The boy doesn’t shoot. The man slaps him into the face and continues shouting. The boy doesn’t shoot. The man pulls the boy over to the dead body of the woman. The open empty eyes look at the boy and the man let go of him. The man shouts again and the boy shoots.

Peter has to swallow to get down whatever content of his stomach wanted to get released. This was worse than he had thought. He doesn’t want to read more of the file or watch more of the footage. “What happened to him?” Peter knows Diana did read it, all of it.

“They took him and the other children in some kind of deprogramming, anti-cult-organisation. Neal didn’t talk for years as he started again he was questioned by the police. He told them he couldn’t remember anything, nothing about the cult, his parents the day they died, nothing and most of his doctors believed him. They think he repressed these memories. I don’t think he could remember it until he shot the smuggler.”

Will Neal remember when he wakes up? Peter doesn’t ask the question, he doesn’t want an answer to it anyway and isn’t sure what would be better. Neal remembering or forgetting. Somewhere in his mind he knows that forgetting would be the more merciful thing but what Neal´s brain decides in the end is still open.

* * *

Neal wakes up the next morning, shaking Peter out of his restless sleep in the hospital chair. His CI is confused why he is in the hospital, the rips don’t feel that bad and he has no memories what happened shortly before he shot Eddy. Peter had to tell him about it but didn’t say why he was in the hospital. He didn’t say a thing about the words that left Neal that day. He didn’t mention the cult or his parents and made sure everyone who knows, namely Diana, Jones and Hughes tell the same story.

Neal shot a man in self-defence. He did nothing wrong. That day he got Neal back to his house. He wouldn’t let him out of his sight and Elizabeth did her best not to cry in front of him. He had called her during the night and told her everything. He had no one else to talk about it. He understood why he doesn’t want Neal to know and it hurt her thinking about the little boy seeing something so horrible that he forget his own parents. Peter falls asleep this night, hauted by the empty blue eyes, a mix out of the ones he saw on the picture and the ones in the room with the blood puddle around Neal´s body.


End file.
